i am too afraid to try and touch his fingers. the wind will blow and his scent will wrap itself around me. but i do no budge. he will speak and it is his voice that makes me feel the rivers and streams of blood that flows through my body. i become warm. and when he looks at me with those lazy eyes, i feel naked. suddenly i shrink into myself as if i’m afraid to show anymore than i need to… in fear that it may scare him away. but his eyes are always so warm and familiar. he respects my fear and only waits patiently.
have you ever met someone so beautiful that you want to lay your head against his or her chest just to hear their heart beat? ever want to hold their hand so you can count the lines on their palms? ever want to do the simplest thing to them, like touch the tip of their nose, twirl your finger in their hair, or even just sit a bit too close to them? all these are simple things but what they do to you is anything but that. you become the image of calm and collected
and the definition of instability and passion.
i cannot allow myself to give in to his smiles nor can i get too comfortable. i cannot listen to the rhythm of his heart nor know how many lines he has on his hands. i cannot get too close to him.
ever just look at someone and see just how good of a person they are? and then look at yourself, look at all your faults and baggage, and then think to yourself you are undeserving? ever realize you’ll only drag him into a place he never needed to know existed?
that’s why i cant get too close. i cannot allow myself to dirty someone like him.